I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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