found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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