I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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