its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
