she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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