I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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