I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The uberlube is also flammable
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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