I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
