Its about making memories worth repressing
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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