CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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