what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He has the fingertips of a God
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
