Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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