i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
