Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
