If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
