I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
