Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
