Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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