how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
