Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize