On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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