found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
