The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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