just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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