Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
