you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
