I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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