It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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