When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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