somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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