I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
