Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize