did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
