Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there was a trapeze. enough said
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
