I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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