We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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