Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They took my balls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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