If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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