I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
