i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
