I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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