Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
