Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
