She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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