hotel room ftw
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
