Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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