PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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