your parents love me but you hate me
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
