I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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