Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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