Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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