Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
