Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
