You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
