My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she told me i tasted like america
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
