I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
